Ask Jak Jak

stellarminded asked: Rancho Cucamonga local ^__^

WHAAA!!! I’m in Riverside. I.E to the fullest lol

I’ve been sitting here for the last hour trying to figure out a topic to talk about and nothing is coming to me. A million things in the news going on and I don’t have shit to talk about. Maybe it’s because I’m too busy thinking about my own issues that I can’t focus on what’s happening out side of that. I guess, since the only thing I can think about right now is me, it’d be fitting to write about myself. How I perceive myself. How I am. Who I am, more importantly. So, here comes a second dilemma. Where do I start? The beginning? Come on, now. Not even I want to talk about myself from the beginning. Also, the beginning is kind of boring. Realistically, I am kind of boring. My life isn’t full of adventure that the typical person would be interested in. I don’t meet famous people. I don’t make a ton of money doing cool shit. I’m just me and I live my life accordingly. I work for a small company that does environmental work. Really, that’s all I can say. I don’t even know what the company actually does; I just answer the phone and direct callers. I’ve had a nice array of job experience, ranging anywhere from a “Sandwich Artist” at Subway to an “Attractions Cast Member” at Disneyland. Jack of all trades, I suppose. Anyway, I landed this job (luckily) and I enjoy it. Believe it or not, I’m a really nice person. I love to chat with people and learn from other and get to know their stories. Everyone has a story they want heard. It’s the same story they tell all the time. Mine? Well, I’ve gone over it and over it and still don’t like telling it. You’d think after so many years I’d be ready and willing, but, truth be told, I’ve repeated it so many times, it’s boring. Being a nice person and a generous person has its drawbacks, though. As recently as last month I’ve had to learn another life lesson that includes not divulging too much information to a person. Not through personal experience, this time. No, this last time was watching someone else get burned because they’re blabber mouths and can’t shut up. You can’t tell everyone everything. That’s just not the way the world works. That’s not to say that you aren’t supposed to be truthful. I am a very truthful person, I just have to pick and choose who I want to be truthful with and who I just have to shut my mouth around. I’ve learned, in my own experiences, that the more truthful you are, the less likely people are going to dislike you. The amount of energy it takes to tell a lie is ridiculous. You have to remember what you said, how you said it, where you said you were, or whatever. That’s a lot of trouble to put your self through. Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t when it suited my needs (everyone has), but even when I’ve needed to, I still choose to keep it quite simple. I don’t have the brain cells left to remember as much shit as I need to. Realistically, it’s not the number of brain cells; it’s the memory space. I have so much that I remember on a daily basis. I like how my brain works though and I’ve really learned to harness it and embrace it and work with it. Not that I didn’t know before, but there’s a sense of satisfaction in becoming older and wiser and you realize that you’ve got what you’ve got and cant change it, so you work with it. My body, my brain, everything has changed so much in the last 2 or 3 years. A lot of it came really fast and I was reluctant to let some things happen, but what you have to realize is that, at a certain point, what ever was going to happen, is going to happen and you can’t do anything about it. We have to let things happen so we can learn and thrive from the world around us. More recently than ever, I’ve seen the world and how ridiculously frightening it is. Truly terrifying. War. Murder. Rape. Kidnapping. Mothers killing children. Fathers killing mothers. What the hell is going on, right? Wrong. This shit has been happening since the beginning of time. Unfortunately for us, we have the news and media outlets that sensationalize a lot of it or don’t make a big deal of things that really need to change. I absolutely refuse to watch the news. Being force-fed negative news stories is not something I want to be subjected to. In fact, I don’t watch a lot of television at all. It’s a matter of personal choice. I find very little on television to be accurate or satisfactory for mind enrichment. The news, especially. It’s full of natural disasters, epidemics, murderers, rapists, child endangerment. I can’t watch that shit. I have enough negativity mulling through my mind all day. When I finally get home and feel peaceful, the last thing I want to watch is a car chase ending in death or a mother killing her children. I prefer to read news articles on-line. I know, I know, the internet is full of loonies that just type away (a lot like myself), but there is some truth on the internet. Luckily, there are some extremely reliable sources and sites that give great news stories AND I’m not having negativity shoved down my throat. Yay, me. I can pick and choose what I want to read. Honestly, I can’t lie; I tend to read a lot of the negative stuff. But some things really interest me. For example, the Sandusky case. That ass-backwards rat is going to rot in jail. I’ve been following that case since the news broke back in November last year. Or Casey Anthony. Fucking bitch. I digress, but you catch the drift, I’m sure. Although I’m a really nice person and favorably give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I can’t stand people either. As a general population, people suck. They’re nasty, selfish, uncaring things that would much rather speculate Snooki’s due date that talk about something that matter. So, here’s where it gets hairy and I may lose a few of you, but I’m going to continue anyway. This is your fair warning that if I didn’t have you in the first few paragraphs, I probably won’t have you now. In that case, I bid you au dieu. Racism! Come on. I don’t even want to hear about how you’re not racist at all and you don’t see color, you only see people. I call bullshit. And here’s why: I’m racist. I know I am. I absolutely don’t preach it or teach it to my little ones, but I am. I think derogatory thoughts while driving around other people. When in a store, I can’t help but look at another person and say certain offensive and nasty things to myself. But I contain it. That’s the important thing. I keep that shit to myself. I’ve never been one for confrontation or to hurt someone’s feelings. All that shit stays inside. As for those of you who look at me and are judging me because I am who I am, suck it because you judging me right now doesn’t make you any better of a person. And the reason I call bullshit on anyone else saying they’re not is because it’s human nature. Whether you realize it or not, saying ‘fucking Asians’ while you’re driving is a racist remark. “Well, Jak, there’s a big difference between stereotyping and being racist!” Um, no. The difference is like debating the definition of ‘THE’. Stereotyping is defined as the belief held by anyone about a specific type of individual or their way of doing things BUT the belief may or may not be accurate in reality. Racism, the belief that different characteristics in racial groups justify discrimination, is rather similar. So, let’s pick this shit apart (because that’s how my brain works and the more you know, the more you grow). When I’m driving on the freeway and get cut off by someone, a SLEW of expletives leaves my brain and travels to my mouth and of course (providing I’m alone in my car) I spew them out like they’ve got a bad taste. Of course, I want to know who cut me off. I go around, and low and behold, it’s an Asian woman. STOP! Now, without me even suggesting anything; without telling you what I’ve said to myself on MANY occasions, you’ve already thought it. And guess what, not only were you stereotyping, you were also being a racist. Congratulations. Now you get it, right? Another? I can keep going. No? So you get the point then. I don’t mean to appear condescending, but people who say they aren’t certain without even realizing that they ARE this way or that way really bother me. It’s like lying and then saying you don’t lie. What the fuck? Exactly. Anyway, so I am what I am. We’re all bigots, racists, and sexist. It’s just the way it is. Of course we can stop this. Ideally, no person would think this way. But it’s not the way we’re raised. I use ‘we’ in a general term. Of course each of us grew up in a different home, in a different manner, with different parents, but a lot of the same things are instilled generation after generation and with that comes a LONG line of hate trickling down the family tree like acid raindrops killing any sense of equality we’d all like to feel. The problem with humans (not Americans, humans as a whole) is that we’re in it to win it and this was taught to us at a very early age. We’re taught to always do better than the next person. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but because we’re taught this, we start to form opinions about people who we view as less than ourselves or who we can perceive as threats to our general progression in life. Jealousy, some call it. Whatever. Live and let die. You can’t live your whole life wondering who’s better than you. That takes so much energy. I know, I keep saying that this or that takes too much energy. I don’t mean to be lazy and not care. Energy means your internal and mental energy. We waste so much time thinking and worrying about things we can’t change or stuff that no matter how hard we think about it, it is what it is. Anyhow, I’m thinking that’s it for now. I’ve run out of things to say. Stay tuned for more of me, although, you know, it’s going to be a rough ride. I’m not for everyone.